The Turmoil of Tense Parental Relationships

When the noises around you get too loud, you may feel inclined to stay silent. You may feel helpless, alone, and, most commonly, afraid. Having grown up in a household with parents who frequently argue, I can tell you firsthand that it is not easy to stay strong and continue your way of life. The helplessness you feel as your parents fight is unlike any other, since the support network you have grown to rely on feels as if it has begun to break. Nonetheless, it is not impossible to remain positive, as I and many of my friends have already done so. In this article, I will discuss three strategies you can use to cope with the pain you may feel as your parents argue, ensuring your happiness is not compromised.

Share your Trauma with the Friends you Trust

Although many individuals try to repress their trauma, it is much more beneficial for your mental health if you learn to come to terms with it. Your trauma can never be entirely erased from your memory, so by shaping your identity in accordance with your sorrowful past you can become a better person than you ever dreamed of.

When my parents used to argue, I pretended that everything was fine. At school, no one could understand the discomfort I was feeling because I hid it from the world. However, my peace of mind and mental well-being were the cost to this facade. After a couple of months, I realized that I needed to speak with others about how I truly felt. Hence, I turned to the friends whom I had spent my entire life with.

I told them how helpless I felt at home, and how I just wanted someone to talk to. And, being the true friends that they are, they listened and connected to how they feel when their parents argue. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off my chest, and it was because I was no longer carrying that weight alone. I realized that arguments are common within households, and I also found friends who I could share my feelings with.

Seek 24-hour Counselling Services

Professional advice is always useful in times of need. If your familial situation is too much for you to handle, finding someone older to help you process the situation is completely okay. In fact, many of my teachers have recommended this to students struggling with their mental health. Speaking to trusted adults or digital counselling services like Kids Help Phone are vital to ensuring your feelings are validated and understood.

Even if the advice given might be “obvious”, hearing that you are capable of moving past family struggles from an external perspective will motivate you to continue pushing forward.

Personally, I began to realize that my external surroundings could not define who I was set to become, and from that day forth I began working harder than ever before.

Today, I live and breathe for one desire: achieving my goals to create a life for myself. Yet, without professional advice, I would not have realized I could turn pain into motivation.

Remember that You have Control over Your Life

This last piece of advice comes from years of witnessing conflict amongst families. However, if there is one thing that I have taken away from familial conflict, it is that no external events can restrict how big I decide to dream. I have accomplished numerous feats despite minor arguments that my parents have with one another.

I have grown to become an independent, capable young woman who is not afraid to take responsibility to work towards her goals. 

Sometimes, I wonder how I could have persevered when it felt like all the odds were stacked against me. Even so, I kept telling myself that I had what it took to succeed, and that nothing was going to stop me from reaching my ambitions. Now, despite the occasional arguments within my household, I am able to navigate past it while sailing happily towards my goals.

In conclusion, it is no easy task to persevere when you feel all alone, especially if your parents are no longer there to continuously support you. However, by learning to use your trauma as a mechanism to motivate you even more, you will soon be able to accomplish anything you set your eyes on. Nothing will be able to stop you.