On Aphantasia: Exploring Unique Image-Free Thinking

Picture this: it’s a warm summer day and you’re lying on the beach. The sun is shining brightly, warming the sand, and reflecting off of the crystal clear water. To your right, you see a group of kids playing beach volleyball. To your left, you see a young couple taking a stroll along the shoreline. Most people are able to see the scene I’ve described play out in their minds; however, there is a small percentage of people with aphantasia who lack the ability to visualize any images in their mind. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines aphantasia as “the inability to form mental images of real or imaginary people, places, or things.” This is exactly what I experience, along with roughly one to four percent of the population (Aphantasia, Psychology Today).

Like many other people with aphantasia, or aphants for short, I was not aware that my inability to visualize was uncommon. In fact, I did not even think about my lack of mental imagery, as I thought everyone was unable to picture things. 

My earliest memory relating to visualization was in primary school. My class and I were sitting on the carpet and before we started reading a picture book my teacher asked the class to imagine what the book was about based on its title. Looking back, she wanted us to visualize it and then write and draw it out., but I think all I did was write down my predictions, not what I saw. I remember being frustrated every time we did this because I found it pointless.

Fast forward to almost a year ago when, during recess, my friends and I were talking about whether or not we have an inner monologue. My friend said, “you know there are some people that can’t see anything in their mind?” 

Immediately I responded, “wait, you guys can see stuff in your mind?” 

Over the following days I asked my friends, teammates, and family if they could visualize anything. Nearly everyone I spoke to had the ability to visualize. All of my friends and family were just as surprised and shocked to learn that I had aphantasia as I was to discover that people could visualize.

Eventually I decided to look up this thing that my friend told me about, aphantasia. I learned after reading articles and YouTube comments that “picture this” and “counting sheep” are not purely a metaphor. It finally made sense why I never found “counting sheep” particularly useful when trying to fall asleep; I was essentially just counting while trying to describe to myself what the sheep would look like as they were jumping over the fence. John Green, a critically acclaimed author, put the experience into words perfectly in an X post: 

It’s baffling to me that some of y’all see stuff in your mind. You SEE it? The way your eyes see? I always thought “visualize” meant thinking of the words/ideas/feelings associated with a thing, not actual visuals.

The earliest record of someone’s inability to visualize was in the late 1800s by Francis Galton, in his Breakfast Table study, but his discovery lacked further scientific investigation until the 21^st century. Neurologist Adam Zeman was approached by a man, known as Patient MX, who lost his ability to visualize after undergoing surgery and subsequently a minor stroke. In 2010, Zeman published his study on Patient MX, and after results were reported in Discover magazine, a large number of people came forward claiming that they had never had the ability to visualize. Zeman and two other colleagues conducted studies, and later published their findings in 2015, coining the term “aphantasia” for the first time (Clemens, “When the Mind’s Eye is Blind”). Since 2015, more attention has been paid to aphantasia, so much so that there is now a website dedicated to it called Aphantasia Network.

On the day that I found out I had aphantasia, one of my friends said she felt bad that I could not visualize any of the characters in books that I read. She even asked me why I enjoyed reading, if I couldn’t picture anything happening in the books. In the days that followed, I found myself distracted while reading. I would stop and try to picture the characters or scene that I was reading and became frustrated when I could not. I noticed that because of having aphantasia, I skip over detailed descriptions in books and tend to focus on the dialogue and character relationships instead. I also realized that the reason I don’t like to read fantasy books is because I do not have a frame of reference for the setting, characters, etc. To compensate, I often look at fanart of the characters, either while reading or after finishing a book, to get an idea of what they would look like.

After discovering that I have aphantasia, I would get annoyed when trying to force myself to visualize something, particularly while reading. I also had an especially difficult time during geometry, when I had to draw 3D shapes and isometric drawings or rotate shapes. I often would have to cut out a piece of paper to be able to rotate the shape. 

According to the Aphantasia Network, there is a spectrum for aphants’ ability to dream. In some cases, there are aphants who can visualize in their sleep, whether that’s black and white stills or full colour moving images. However, there are also aphants that do not dream at all, like one of my friends. I do have dreams, but I am not sure if I actually visualize anything in them. 

Just recently, my brother asked me what happens when he tells me to think of a place I went to. I told him that I would use words to describe the place, and I would not construct a mental image of said place. It is disappointing to know that most people can recall moments with pictures, but I cannot. Even though I would like to be able to visualize things, being able to think without getting distracted by images in my head is a big advantage. I do wish, though, that the memory of places, events, and, most importantly, family members would be accompanied by mental images. Just like characters in books, I rely on pictures to help me remember. With that being said, having aphantasia does not affect my everyday life drastically. It is frustrating not being able to recall what things looked like, but at the end of the day I am still able to do everything I want to. 

Aphantasia is just another way of experiencing the world. It is not a disorder, nor a disease that needs to be cured, and it does not limit one’s creativity or potential.

For more information, read the Aphantasia Network’s Aphantasia Beginner’s Guide.