Being the Head of An Immigrant Household

Being a child of an immigrant is one thing but being the head of an entire immigrant household is another. As the oldest child in a first-generation Canadian family, I face a great number of struggles. I was born and raised here in Canada, but my parents were not, giving them a very limited understanding of this country and its languages.

Because I was the only fluent English speaker in the family, I was in charge of nearly everything. From bills to important phone calls, even parent-teacher interviews. All of it starting at the young age of 8, I felt a tremendous amount of stress. However, the pressure I go through as the head of an immigrant family makes me a much more mature and independent person. 

At first, I despised having to be in charge of such important things. I was jealous of the kids around me that did not have the responsibilities that I carried. I wanted to have parents that spoke English and did not need a translator for such important things. But over a period of time, it came to me naturally, I no longer saw it as a burden. I realized that although giving crucial tasks to a child was almost ridiculous, it made me mature a lot faster than an average child would. Now as a teenager, I can withstand greater amounts of stress and responsibilities. 

It was not only being a translator that made growing up such a challenge, the language barrier between me and my parents was a great obstacle. I was never able to communicate my feelings clearly to them, especially regarding my mental state. Mental health is difficult to describe in and of itself and having to talk about it in an entirely different language was burdensome. Personal conversations are nearly impossible with family, as it feels as though I am talking to a wall of judgement. Fortunately, I have the support of my friends, who are able to help me through difficult situations. 

There is so much pressure and guilt you face. Being an immigrant’s child requires accepting responsibility for your family. Being an immigrant’s child means you will grow up faster. The hopes and dreams of your family are carried by you. The guilt comes from how much your family has given up for you, so you feel the need to return the favour and give up your happiness for them. This amount of strain on my life causes me to feel lost from time to time, never knowing what to do. 

In the end, I am so grateful for what my parents have done for me. They left the very country they grew up in just so I could have a better life. Although I very much disliked having to grow up with so many responsibilities, it made me a much stronger person who can handle a lot more than an average teenager can. It was and still is a challenging situation, but I have continued to persevere and overcome the many challenges that come with being the head of an immigrant family.