What it’s like to Be a Twin

I don’t know what it is like not to have a twin. I am always asked, “what it is it like having a twin?” and I want to reply with a similar question “what is it like not having a twin?” I wonder if it feels different and I think about what it would be like if I didn’t have a twin sister. 

I can’t speak for every set of twins but for my sister, Saryna, and I, we have always been best friends. For me it is like having a built-in best friend. Sure, we fight but we don’t stay mad at each other for long. I believe having a twin means someone you can rely on and you are connected to by an inside joke that no one else understands.

I don’t think my sister and I look very much alike, but some people say we do. Saryna and I are similar in many ways, not just physical appearance. We both like bullet journaling, reading, and cooking. But it is more than just interests, a lot of the time we act and think the same way, too. For example, we noticed that we both brush our teeth with one arm tucked under the other and when we ride the bus to school together, we both unconsciously turn our heads to face out the same window. From the outside, Saryna and I are pretty similar. The “problem” with this is when you see two things that look the same, you might think they are carbon copies of each other.

Going into high school I struggled to find my own sense of identity. My sister and I went into high school only knowing a few people that we were not necessarily close with. At the beginning of the school year I felt I wasn’t making any new friends. I blamed part of it on having a twin.

Saryna and I ate lunch, sat at assemblies, and went to and from school together. I was afraid that people didn’t want to get to know me because my sister and I didn’t really talk to any one but each other. It was partially my fault, too. I am a shy person and, especially when I was younger, I was scared to talk to new people. I think I talked to Saryna a lot because it is easy for me, I was using her as a safety net. I knew Saryna and by talking to her I didn’t have to put myself out there and make forced conversation with someone until it wasn’t awkward anymore. I thought everyone at school thought Saryna and I were our own little secret club and that we didn’t want to talk to anyone else. 

Eventually I did end up making some new friends at school and became more comfortable with my new environment, but I also noticed something else at school. I found people wouldn’t recognize me as an individual person. People would often refer to Saryna and I “twins” or “Ramsays.” That’s another thing about being a twin, at least for my sister and I—always being confused about who is who. How can you every feel like your own person when someone is constantly confusing you with someone else? That is why I think people just like to refer to us as one person, they don’t want to be embarrassed for not knowing which one of us they are talking to. I try not to let is bother me; for the most part, people really are trying their best. I have played the role of Saryna in many conversations when people call me by the wrong name. I feel bad correcting them all the time. When I see Saryna, I always pass along whatever was meant for her to hear. I am also attuned to the name Saryna. I never know if someone is calling out to her or to me since they just think that I am Saryna.

I think everyone’s twin experience is different. Don’t get me wrong I love being a twin but as I grow up, I hope to become more unique. I try to create and develop my own individuality. I pick different courses than my sister in school, buy different clothes (up until we were 14, Saryna and I had matching backpacks that were just different colours) and trying new things by myself without the comfort of my twin around. Saryna and I have even talked about going to different universities. Though that would mean we would be apart for a while, I don’t think we’d be any less close than we already are. When you share a room (and basically everything we own) together for as long as we have, you really get to know one another and create a unique and special bond.