The Value of Reciprocation

When I experience something difficult or go through a new season in my life—like entering high school—I always have a support system to lean on when things get tough. Whether it’s a parent, friend, or a close cousin, we all have people we confide our troubles in. Throughout my life, I have one person who supports me cheerfully and without hesitation: my younger brother.

He’s there to comfort me when I cry over stressful finals, he listens to me rant about lazy group project members, and he knows how to cheer me up even when I don’t say anything. The two of us argue and fight over meaningless things, too, but it’s never hurtful. We have always been close, even when he was a baby who could barely understand a word I said, I could feel that he was enthusiastic about anything I did. But with each compassionate and loving action of his, I wondered what I was doing to show him that I supported him just as much.

That’s when I came to a horrible realization, I haven’t ever gone out of my way to show my brother any appreciation. Sure, there’s been a few words of gratitude and a hug here and there but does my brother know that I really appreciate him?

When we argue, does he know I don’t mean what I say? When we hangout, does he know that I’m having fun too? With each question I asked myself, I seemed to fall into an endless spiral of guilt. While blaming myself for not showing my gratitude I realized how many other people have shown me their support too, but have I shown them that I return the same feeling too?

I decided that there were some changes that had to be made. I wanted to show kindness and compassion for the people who have shown it to me all my life. I talked to my brother about the guilt I feel, and he told me that it was ok. He wasn’t holding a grudge and he never felt any malice either and I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I texted friends of mine who I haven’t seen in a while and thanked them for comforting me after terrible tests and exhausting evaluations. I thanked my mum for her constant words of reassurance when I felt like I could truly do nothing well in life.

We take a lot of things for granted in life, even something as simple as “thank you” can be forgotten so quickly. When we are treated with unconditional love and support all the time, we tend to get comfortable in that environment and disregard the people who show it to us since we’re used to always receiving it. So, when you realize that you’ve made the same mistake that I’ve made, it’s never too late to tell them that you’re grateful for their support!