The Art of Healthy Selfishness: Why Prioritizing Yourself Is Sometimes Essential

In our fast-paced world, the catchword seems to be “put others first.” The idea of being selfish and prioritizing yourself can often feel uncomfortable and counterintuitive. As a society, we’ve decided to normalize encouraging one another to put others first, to be the one who is always available to lend a hand, and the one who will always be there to prioritize the needs of those around us. However, there is a less discussed yet critical side of selfishness that boosts our well-being and overall effectiveness. It’s called healthy selfishness and embracing it is not just necessary for maintaining a healthy relationship with ourselves, but can also lead to a more positive and fulfilling life.

The Concept of Healthy Selfishness

Healthy selfishness is not about disregarding others and acting out of greed. It is all about recognizing the importance of setting boundaries that will preserve your overall health. Additionally, it involves prioritizing yourself. This includes focusing on the importance of self-care and ensuring that you can help others from a positive place rather than from a state of insufficiency. Consider the metaphor, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” From this, we understand that if you are exhausted, you have little to offer anyone else. Prioritizing your needs ensures that you’ll be able to support those around you more effectively without being constantly worn out.

Ever since I can remember, I have always tried to make sure everyone around me was happy. But at what cost? I remember a very stressful week when I was extremely exhausted and utterly drained. I quickly realized how overwhelmed I was. I was running on empty both physically and mentally. At this time, I certainly was not in the right headspace to give my best effort to any of the plans and commitments I had made prior. It was noticeably clear to me that my body needed a break. I needed to step back.

So, for the first time, I decided to set boundaries and prioritize my own well-being.

For a people-pleasing person like myself, this decision was not easy. I was very worried about disappointing my friends and family. I feared I was letting them down. However, taking this time alone was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I felt relaxed, joyful, and finally felt like I could just do what I wanted to do. By focusing on myself, I was able to come back re-energized and with more confidence that I was fulfilling my goals productively. Because of this, I was also able to offer more meaningful and encouraging support to my friends and family.

Benefits of Healthy Selfishness

1. Preserving Mental Health

Whenever we place someone else’s needs above our own, we risk burning out and experiencing extreme emotional exhaustion. Therefore, healthy selfishness is crucial for mental health. Setting boundaries is a great way to protect and maintain a good mental space; it helps us keep a balanced perspective. By being selective with what we commit to, we can preserve our mental health and avoid the trap of constant stress.

2. Enhancing Relationships

This might sound difficult but healthy selfishness is a fantastic way to improve relationships. When we are well-rested and at ease with our emotions, we are more present and can be more attentive. This way, our interactions are more meaningful and we are better support systems. For example, when we are stretched too thin, we become irritable and disconnected, which strains our relationships heavily. By ensuring we are in a good place with ourselves, we contribute positively to our interactions with others.

3. Fostering Personal Growth

Being mindful of our own needs leads us to make space for self-care, which fosters personal growth. When we are not overwhelmed, we have more clarity and can focus on our passions. We can set goals, boundaries, and work on personal growth. Personal growth allows us to be the best, most fulfilled versions of ourselves. 

4. Increasing Productivity and Focus

When we practice healthy selfishness, we allow ourselves the mental and physical space to concentrate on tasks more effectively. By taking time to recharge and focus on what truly matters, we can approach our responsibilities with renewed energy and focus. This leads to higher productivity, as we are not spread too thin across various commitments. When we are selective with our time and energy, we can accomplish more, and our work quality improves. This, in turn, benefits not only us but also those who depend on our work and presence.

Embracing healthy selfishness can be challenging at first, especially in our society that often values self-sacrifice. However, the long-term benefits matter far more than the discomfort.

By prioritizing your own well-being, you not only preserve your mental health but also enhance your relationships, foster personal growth, and increase your productivity. Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup! 

So, take a moment to reflect: Are you prioritizing yourself enough? By choosing to focus on your needs, you can offer the best version of yourself to the world. Healthy selfishness is not about ignoring the needs of others but about ensuring that you are in the best possible position to meet them. It is time to embrace this balance and recognize that taking care of yourself is the first step to genuinely caring for others.