FOMO In Our Lives

Many have experienced the fear of missing out, a.k.a. FOMO. As its name suggests, FOMO is the feeling or perception that others have better lives and are happier. Fear of missing out can also translate to having wanted to buy those shoes you saw everyone wear but you didn’t have or going to that party just because you didn’t want to miss out if something happened. Unfortunately, FOMO is very much real, but how can we prevent it?

Like many others, I often felt FOMO. In middle school, I felt the desperate need to please everyone and to fit in. Like every other teen, I am an avid consumer of social media, and I would spend hours on TikTok, scrolling through my “for you” page until I realized it was 3 o’clock in the morning and I hadn’t started my project yet. I really think that social media has a lot to do with FOMO. In fact, a survey by MyLife.com revealed that 56% of social media users suffer from FOMO. I could see why I was constantly comparing my life with the lives of strangers online. 

This doesn’t mean that I cut social media out of my life. It’s pretty hard to imagine living without social media, especially during a pandemic, where the only way to stay connected with friends is by social media. An article published in Computers and Human Behavior found that FOMO is linked to feeling a need to engage in social media and increasing that engagement. FOMO is harmful because it’s easy to lose yourself in an endless swirl of insecurity. 

Even outside of social media, I’d compare myself to other people. Was I smarter? Was I more popular? Others always seemed to have more fun than I, so what was I doing wrong? I wasn’t doing anything wrong, but my mind was set on convincing myself that I was. I didn’t know I was experiencing FOMO, and I didn’t know that my mindset was toxic. 

How can we try to eliminate FOMO? Well, maybe a social media detox could help. I used to check Instagram and TikTok as soon as I woke up and I would fall asleep after spending hours on social media—it was a never-ending cycle. This doesn’t mean you have to delete everything, just try to reduce things on your feed that might trigger FOMO. For example, unfollow influencers that you compare yourself to.

I still experience FOMO, but I do think that I have gotten better at identifying and preventing it. I spend less time on social media, and I’ve started realizing how lucky I am just to be able to do basic things. I used to be concerned with the lives of everyone around me, and how much better their lives seemed. However, by focusing on myself, I do feel proud of the things that I have gone through. 

Real connections are what count. Try to spend some real-time with your friends (even if it’s just a Facetime call) or take a walk every day to collect your thoughts. Dedicating time to people you love—like friends or family—can be extremely healing and relaxing. Don’t base your self-worth on likes or having the newest iPhone. Everyone experiences FOMO at different levels, and that’s perfectly valid. Just remember that you are perfect in your own way and you don’t need to prove it to anyone.