Being You might Be Hard, but It’s Not Impossible

Everyone always says to be yourself. Your teachers, parents, and even friends. “Just be yourself, you’ll fit right in!” But is it that easy? For me, it wasn’t. I realized if I wanted people to like me, then I should do stuff they do. I should act like them, dress like them, and even talk about the things they liked. Everyday after I came home from school, I felt so exhausted. I didn’t think being someone I wasn’t would be so tiring. But everyone started acting differently around me. People would compliment my outfit and boys would compliment my style. One boy even said my style before was weird, and it made me wonder, “is that what people actually thought of me?” 

It took a while to see how much damage I’d done to myself. Each compliment I received no longer made me feel happy. I just felt numb.

I thought pretending to be someone I’m not would help me fit in, but in reality, it made me feel like I was just trying to survive.

I realized that I didn’t have to act like someone I wasn’t so I decided to get help. I started reading about people feeling the same way and it made me feel like I wasn’t alone. It made me feel better about myself because there are people that want to help others overcome this phase in their life. I decided to become one of those helpers, too. 

On my journey of trying to find myself, I met a lot of obstacles like hating myself, distancing myself from others, and  forgetting who I was, so I joined a group where mental health always came first. Hearing others’ stories about similar experiences made an impact on how I felt. I remember feeling so down because I constantly compared myself to others. Knowing that I wasn’t on my own made me realize that I can like myself and be me in front of others. Here are some tips I have learned along the way of learning more about mental health. 

1. Do what you’re interested in 

Doing what you’re interested in and not being ashamed of it is a big part of self-growth. Being yourself can sometimes be scary because you always worry about what others think. However, if you embrace your inner-self, then maybe you can show your true personality. You will find people who will say you’re “weird” or “odd.” Well, you can show them that not being afraid to be who you really are is not odd or weird. It’s brave and shows how far you’ll go to being liked for being you. 

2. Surround yourself with people who like you for you 

When you want to be liked by people, you have to find the right clique to hang with. But when you want to be the real you, you have to find friends that care about you and like you for you. It can be hard to find the right friends but the more you connect with others with your true personality, the more you’ll find yourself relating to them. Always remember friends are supposed to be supportive and caring, not someone who’s afraid to stand up for you, or someone that’s never there when you need them. Real friends care for you and will always stand up for you. They don’t care if you are different from others, or if you dress, talk, smile, or laugh weirdly. They like you for you, and every other cool and amazing thing about you.

3. Never forget who you are 

We can get caught up in trying to be someone we’re not. It’s important to never forget who you are. You are allowed to like the things you are interested in, and shouldn’t have to hide it from others just to “fit in.” Being you is also a part of showing who you are to the world and being confident in yourself. It’s important that people like you for you and not someone you’re pretending to be. Therefore, embrace your inner self and show that you’re not afraid of being you. 

These three tips reminded me that there are ways to get yourself back. However, they might not work for everyone. Learning to like me for me with the help of others really taught me that people like me for who I am, not someone I’m pretending to be. Looking back, I don’t know how I made it through a whole year of dreadfulness. Joining a group that shared awareness about mental health showed me that my mental health mattered, too, motivated me to help others in similar situationws. Although I can’t say I’m fully healed from the past, I know getting help was the right choice for me.