Accepting Change in New Environments

“We will be relocating to Canada next April.”

My dad broke the news to our family in December 2023. I was anxious yet hopeful of what a life overseas would bring. The longest I had stayed overseas was a year, when I lived in Ghana. I was three years old and at such a tender age I could not put a name to my feelings about the temporary relocation.  However, that experience was incomparable to leaving my motherland Nigeria with little to no intention of returning, due to how expensive intercontinental plane tickets are.

Nonetheless, when I cast my mind to that festive evening when my father broke the news to us, the emotions I felt are still very raw in my memory. I was excited that I could live in a fantastical land such as Canada (that was how I perceived it when I took a trip there the year before), but I also felt a hint of sadness. I would be separated from my friends at school three years earlier than I expected. I could no longer savour decadent Nigerian delicacies like smoky Jollof rice or sizzling red meat sold at the roadside. I believe my brother and my parents felt the same, but relocating was a risk we were ready to take because its benefits greatly outweighed our negative emotions.

The first three months of my stay in Canada brought a bunch of surprising incidents. When we first arrived in Canada, I recall running out of the airport to the taxi because it was very chilly. In Nigeria, the weather is warm and consistent, whereas in Canada the temperature can change from scorching to freezing. Sometimes I would take a risk and wear summer outfits during the winter, which usually made me catch a cold. My mom became aggravated by my ignorance to the chilly weather, so she taught me to always take my winter jacket (and gloves depending on the harshness of the snow) with me whenever I went out.

Another difference I noticed was the effort it takes to maintain relationships.

In Nigeria, I attended a boarding school. One of the benefits of living with roommates is that it forces you to accommodate them, thereby becoming friends. After attending boarding school for three years, I ended up knowing everyone and had many friends. Once I was in Canada, I missed my friends who I could banter with over anything; from the worst dishes served at the dining hall, to our funniest moments in class that day, and everything in between. However, moving meant that we would no longer have anything in common and we would not feel as connected as we used to.

When I started elementary school in Canada, I was met with unfamiliar faces and the challenging task of making new friends. At the time, I was shy and not very talkative. When the first day of elementary school rolled around, meeting my classmates was quite terrifying! Their eyes were glued to me and they sat still like statues, perhaps fascinated that a new student was arriving a month before the summer break. I thought I would not make any friends because I came so late in the school year, but even on that first day I was surrounded by a group of girls who wanted to befriend me! The teacher introduced us later in the day and their four cheery voices made me feel more relaxed and comfortable in the classroom.

Through this time, my parents were always available to support me. Their advice was to make short conversations with the people seated beside me. In high school, I became intentional about greeting my seatmates. I vividly remember doing this during the first week of grade 10. I sat beside someone I’d never met, introduced myself, and she turned out to be funny, nice, and chatty.

My parents also told me to say what was on my mind and to try not to be a people-pleaser. This mindset helped me boost my self-esteem and enriched my conversations with people. I previously believed that I could make new friends if I agreed with their opinions, regardless of if I thought otherwise. A scientist in a Melbourne-based research team named Dr Dominguez revealed that some individuals choose to agree with others most of the time, to spare themselves feelings of discomfort. The truth of the matter is that we may not always have similar opinions to people, and that’s alright!

We are all made uniquely and though our opinions can differ, they all matter.

Furthermore, my first semester of high school in Canada was not at all like the Nigerian schooling system. In Nigeria, exams must be completed within a period of one to two weeks, but assessments in Canada are spread throughout the semester. Compressing exams into just two weeks often lead to an increase in pressure levels, as students are expected to read “back-to-back” to feel prepared. During this time, the nurses are very busy because many students rush to the sick bay and are diagnosed of what is called “exam fever,” an illness (as the name implies, a fever) that occurs when exam weeks roll around. On the other hand, in the Canadian system, tests are scheduled based on the teacher, excluding finals. Managing assessments this way has made the learning process less stressful because I was able to adequately study for each test and get sufficient rest before another assessment.

The key differences I’ve observed between Canada and Nigeria revolve around the climate, how relationships are managed, academic deadlines, and the structure of exams. While each country presents its own unique advantages and challenges, I have learned to navigate and adapt to these changes brought on by my relocation. The process hasn’t always been easy, but it has helped me grow and develop new skills, allowing me to adjust to the contrasting environments and expectations of both places.