The Middle School Mingle: How to Make Friends

Going from elementary school to middle school is a very awkward transitional phase, especially when you go through this change alone. I found myself in this very situation in September 2024, when my father dropped me off in front of a giant red-brick building, which would be my school for the next two years. I knew some of the kids from my old school, but not well enough to call them friends. Unfortunately, seventh grade started badly for me: I got lost a lot, was picked on, and often retreated into a corner. Then I realized that if I wanted to survive middle school, I needed to make friends. These are some of my top strategies for how to meet new people.

Strategy #1: Common Activities/Clubs

Joining clubs or finding common interests with your classmates is the easiest thing you can do if you want to acquaint yourself with lots of people quickly.

I joined several clubs that I was interested in, such as concert band, track-and-field, and poetry, and this was a very important step for me towards making friends.

Because we shared interests, it was easier to start conversations. Over time, I settled into the groups I liked and became familiar with them. There are even some people who are in multiple of the clubs I am in. This just goes to show, the more you get involved and the more people you surround yourself with, the more potential friends you have.

Strategy #2: Cafeteria

Lunch is one of the few times when the whole school gathers. It might be a little awkward at first, but I found it helpful to bring a book or a low-key activity. People tend to sit in the same place every day, so if you pay attention, you can find groups that seem like a good fit and sit with them.

For example, I sat with a D&D group for a few weeks. They were friendly, chatted with each other about what they were doing in school and complained about teachers. Eventually, over time. I found my way into the very same conversation I used to watch from the sidelines

Strategy #3: Ask Questions

You might not think much of this, but asking questions is an amazing and surprisingly low-stress way to start a conversation. It doesn’t need to be very specific. It can be as simple as something like: “What’s your favourite cafeteria food?” or “Marvel or DC?”

People love sharing their opinions and beliefs, so this is a good way to get to know someone. For example, I went around my school and asked people: “If you could live in any country, where would you go?” I got a wide variety of responses, from France to the Dominican Republic, and even Russia. But the interesting part came when I asked them why. I realized that a few students were really into geography and geopolitics, so we formed a Model UN club, and I’m still an active member today. Thanks to that one question, I was able to find a group of people with similar interests.

Strategy #4: Recess/Breaks

This is another time where everyone is together and you have your pick of who to introduce yourself to.

When you’re outside, you can really see how friend groups split off. For example, the same kids would play soccer, another group would play volleyball, and one group would always go to the hill and play Freeze Tag. If you see a group of people doing an activity you’re interested in, try asking them if you can join in.

The more regularly you partake in these activities with the same people, you have a better chance of forming a friendship.

If you aren’t going outside at breaktime, you might be in the library instead. The library was actually my favourite place to meet people. I signed up to be a Library Assistant, which meant at lunchtime I often had to manage the library by myself. I sometimes had to watch up to 50 students at a time, which was a daunting task. Most of the time the same kids would come in, so I would greet them and ask them about their day or if they were looking for a particular book. This helped me not only gain more popularity amongst the students, but it was also fun to feel like I was in charge of my own little community.

Conclusion

Middle school can be an intimidating experience, especially when you’re alone. But there are many friends waiting to be discovered. You just need to put yourself out there.

Try putting a lot of emphasis on consistency. When people see that you consistently show up in a good mood, whether it be at a club, in class, or at a lunch table, you present yourself as more approachable and friendly. You don’t need to be all that popular or have the latest iPhone to have a social life. The most important part of surviving middle school is to remember you’re never alone.