How Effort Always Beats Productivity

Productivity, the very thing that helps the world go ‘round. People studying for exams, going to work, raising children, cooking, writing a book, and more. These are all forms of productivity. Of course, productivity has a different meaning to everybody. 

I thrived on motivation and productivity. I didn’t use social media much, I wrote a lot of short stories, I did schoolwork, painted, and baked. I just tried to fill the time with things I knew that were better than mindlessly scrolling on the internet. It made me feel better about myself and I enjoyed it. I remember having a conversation with a friend who said that she liked to have self-care days. A day to wind down, relax, have a face mask, and just settle. I cringed at the idea because it wasn’t productive. I would rather use my time for more effective things. Things I knew that were beneficial. Honestly, things I enjoyed doing and that made me happy. What was I going to gain from an entire wasted day of “relaxation?” I didn’t understand balance then. That was when I was 14, pre-pandemic.

Fast forward to August 2021, during the pandemic 16 years old and I was struggling with productivity. Everything that used to fulfil me that I considered productive now seemed like a chore. I was watching YouTube all the time and scrolling on Instagram. I had no balance and felt lazy.

And in early August, it caught up with me and I hated it. Every day felt the same and I hated the way I was spending the summer. I wished to be my 14-year-old self who did stuff all the time. The pandemic destroyed my work ethic. With nothing to do and too much time on my hands, one YouTube video was harmless. Reopening a social media app I haven’t touched in weeks was the only way to connect. My days were long and repeated. I did not realize at the time that those were small habits that later would snowball as weeks and months passed. When everyone looked like they took advantage of being indoors for a year, I was on the side wondering why I didn’t do that as well. Everyone seemed to learn a new skill, a new language, start a business, and heal. It felt like I was passing through the days, just existing without any sense of purpose. I knew I had to find my past workflow. I had to find that drive that would lead towards success. But it wasn’t there. None of it was there. It felt like some sick joke.  

Now, motivation, inspiration, and creative blocks are all factors that went into my past productivity. These can vary per person, as everyone’s definitions are different. I like to do creative stuff in different mediums which is why I find it productive. It helps increase my imagination. I take it as productive rather than distracting whereas for someone who’s very into art, it can sometimes distract them from doing their schoolwork and they have to restrict the amount of time they spend creating. This shows that you have to identify the things you are addicted to and find a middle ground for that. 

Ironically, Instagram and YouTube provided a lot of resources with content creators that provided real ways to be productive. Real people meant real results. They had their low days, they had days that they didn’t want to create content at all, or they cheated on their diets. Meaning the inconsistencies and low energy days were valid and taken as days to rest. What was cool was not the fact that they were aesthetic all the time or that they had shown themselves crying; it was the fact that they tried again. 

Low day? Try again the next day. Feeling unmotivated? Watch something inspirational or someone doing the hobby you like. Missed a workout day? Ate junk food? Lost your temper? Had a bad day? It didn’t matter. They always believed that tomorrow would be better and tried to make it better. They shrugged it off, and left it in the past. They didn’t put too much thought into their failures but how they made it a turning point. 

That made me want to do something about my productivity. I began to cook, bake, paint, video edit, and more. But my bad days always outnumbered my good days. I tried journaling for a couple of days, but I was inconsistent. I want to try it again soon. I want to feel satisfied every day with what I’ve done that day. If I don’t, I will always try again.  

I haven’t gotten out of my rut as it’s been taking a lot of time, but I make sure to try. And if there’s something I want you to take from this is to try. 

I may not have a happy ending now, but I will try to make sure I have one. Because trying is always one step closer to success. I’m always trying to be productive and if that falls through, I know that I will start again the next day and not beat myself up for it too much. Because now I know that my effort means more. 

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